Susan, Domestic Shorthair

Jason with Susan on his shoulder

Here's where you get to read all about my cat Susan, who came from the Tomkins County SPCA. I don't consider her "rescued"; rather I think that we were lucky to get her before someone else snatched her up, since she is so beautiful and full of charm.

Her cat code is:
Susan:DSW+BG2XLW+C+I+++TA++E++H+++S+V++F++Q-P-BPAPL

Susan has her own trading card.

The Kit-ton

The kitton, like the proton, is an elementary particle. Unlike the proton, the kitton is macroscopic and capable of taking on a variable electric charge. The kitton obeys several unusual laws of motion.
  1. A kitton at rest tends to stay at rest until it is good and ready to move.
  2. A kitton in motion tends to stay in motion in as straight line until it finds something better to do.
  3. Gravity affects the kitton more strongly when it is sleepy.
  4. Kittons can accumulate a strong positive or negative charge, and can become quite peeved when they are grounded.
Although they are massive particles, kittons often appear to move faster than the speed of light, violating causality. This, however, is an illusion. In fact the kitton can be treated as a wave packet in most energy regimes. Observation causes the packet to collapse. Thus, when you are certain that the kitton was in the other room just a second ago, yet you find it in the clean laundry despite the fact that you did not see it pass through the bedroom door, you have simply witnessed a tunneling event. Controversial results show that in fact, some kittons may travel faster than light, but since they carry no information, causality is not violated.

The Su-son is a subclass of the kitton particle, being enriched in charm quarks. The Suson obeys the laws outlined above, but looks really cute doing it.

What cats find interesting

Key
* * * * Four bats: Any activity in this arena will bring me running.
* * * Three bats: I'll pat at it as I walk by.
* * Two bats: I might be interested, if it were dangled beneath my nose.
* One bat: I'm sorry . . . were you saying something?
Susan's Interests
* * Expensive bamboo jingly ball
* * * * Bathroom plumbing (shower, sink, toilet)
* Scratching posts
* * * Mousie, an extremely battered stuffed rodent that was once attached to the scratching post
* * * * Low-flying housefly or lady bug
* Big scary bugs
* * * Tin foil
* * * * String
* * * That weird, furry, snakey thing attached to her rear end
* * * * Food dish
* * * * Card games . . . especially ones where the placement of the cards on the table is important
* * * Sleeping people's feet.
* * * * The Shiny-Sticks and String game.
If Susan were . . .
She would be called . . .
A Japanese kitten addressed respectfully
 Sue-san
A Messianic kitten of the desert
Suad Dib
A robotic kitten from the future
 The Susanator
Assimilated
 Susan of Nine
The Japanese art of folding kittens
 Susie-gami
A state
 Susie-ana
A state capital
 Baton Suz
A bustling city
 Sue Orleans
A Chinese philospher
 Lao Tsue
Not barefoot
 Shoes-on
A human
 A Purr-san
A musical instrument
 A Suz-aphone
A city in Arizona
 Tu-san
A dragon-riding kitten
 S'san
A trigonometric function
 The Cosan
An inverse trigonometric function
 The Arcsan

Stop kitty porn!
  Questions? Comments? brs@astro.cornell.edu
  Last modified: Mon May 6 13:57:29 EDT 2002 by XEmacs
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